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I know I’ve been saying that I hate fall, but that was before I remembered that besides colder weather and covered-up hotties, it also means that we’re about to get a whole bunch of busty calendar pictures for 2014, like these ones from British hottie Chanelle Hayes. I don’t know anyone who actually buys these things, besides mechanics and teenagers, but I always look forward to this time of year because of them. If only I had a calendar to mark it on. Oh well.
Here’s 2013 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model Hannah Davis, and if the name sounds familiar, it’s probably because Hannah was in the news last month. Unfortunately though, it wasn’t for taking a stance against discriminatory “no shirt, no service” laws, it’s because she started dating Derek Jeter. So go ahead and enjoy the bikini pictures, and just remember, Jeter may be one lucky bastard, but he’s still going to be home watching the baseball playoffs just like you — only he’s going to be with Hannah. Nevermind, that didn’t work. I still hate him.
Listen, I like Eva Longoria as much as the next blogger, but this should be common sense: she should never stand next to Kate Beckinsale. Because here they both are at some charity dinner that she runs, only Eva’s the one who looks like she could use some help compared to Kate. So I hope she learned her lesson, and next time Eva should just put me next to Kate, and the problem’s solved.
It’s pictures like this that are quickly making AnnaSophia Robb one of my new favorites. Because ever since I first discovered it a few months ago, I’ve been really impressed by that booty of hers. And here she is showing it off again at the premiere party for Season 2 of The Carrie Diaries. Anyway, I know I have a lot of favorites though, so before I go and do something crazy, like decide to watch this crappy show, I’m going to need a little more from AnnaSophia. I think a few bikini pictures ought to do the trick. Or even better, I could be the one taking them.
I’ve seen a lot of handbras over the years, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a hockey glove bra before like the one Audrina Patridge is wearing here for some magazine called The Fourth Period. It’s not bad, but it offers way too much coverage for my liking. If they wanted to stick with the hockey theme, why not go with pucks? Or even better, a hockey net. Clearly this is why I need to go into the photoshoot consulting business.
I know it’s only two pictures, but these new shots of the UK’s reigning Queen of Boobs Lucy Pinder are so good, they’re worth 20 from any busty American model. At least I think that’s the going exchange rate. For some reason, I’m having a hard time concentrating right now.
Once again, here’s Selena Gomez putting on a great leg show in order to model sneakers for Adidas. I don’t know whose bright idea it was to put these two together, but I just don’t get it. If you ask me, it’s a complete waste of Selena’s talent. I mean, just look at this booty. You could sell guys pretty much anything with that, cars, booze, a second mortgage. So it’s time for a new marketing strategy. The first step is thinking bigger, the second is less clothing, and the third is giving me 10% of the dump trucks full of money that brings in.
Once again, Alexa Vega is continuing to impress me. Here she is at the 2013 ALMA Awards showing off her amazing cleavage. So now that we know that she has a great rack, I’m curious about that Latina booty. That said, I’m requesting that some creepy Paparazzi dude follow Alexa to the gym and get a shot of her behind in yoga pants. Thanks in advance.
As you guys know, Courtney Stodden is my new favorite nobody and is probably the best dressed wannabe celebrity in Hollywood. However, no 19 year old chick should wear lip liner that is darker than her lipstick, unless she wants to look like an old mahjong playing granny. Yes, even though I’m all about chicks in sexy latex and big fake boobs, I do know my do’s and don’ts when it comes to putting it all together.